Commitment in any form is a major step to take and its usually advised you do it prayerfully after careful consideration of the pros and cons.
When given more responsibility, either at work or in a relationship, some people are worried about disappointing others and simply leave or just give up. This phobia for commitment is not borne out of malicious intent but mostly out of past experiences and persistent feelings of inadequacy.
These people tend to thrive at jobs where they can work independently or for themselves. If you notice a pattern in your partner’s behavior towards your relationship, or in their personal life, or at work, school, and church, that tends towards the fear of commitment, you can help them overcome it.
It is important that you make a clear distinction between time wasters who are just in a relationship for the jolly ride and a partner who truly cares about you, but is afraid to take the relationship to the next level.
Acknowledgement
The first step is for the concerned partner to identify and acknowledge that he/she might be dealing with relationship anxiety. Particularly if the waiting partner is female, with the proverbial biological clock ticking, there is a tendency to start getting impatient. Acknowledging a problem is always the first step towards finding a lasting solution.
Seek God’s wisdom and guidance
Once you realize that your partner is experiencing anxiety at the thought of moving ahead with a relationship, encourage them for you both to seek God’s wisdom and guidance. You can both ask God for help and read His word for insight. At times like these, it is important to provide the spiritual support for the anxious partner, encouraging them to take on more responsibilities and see failure as a learning curve, not the end of a matter.
God created us to have relationships with others. He knew that Adam was lonely in the Garden of Eden and created Eve to be a companion meet for him. The word “meet” emphasizes the need for support and help. God knew Adam would need help in surmounting the challenges ahead, he would also need a partner to share the victories with. The Bible teaches that “Two are better than one because they have a good reward for their labor.” (Ecclesiastes 4:9)
Seek spiritual counsel
You can find guidance through a spiritual advisor such as your pastor or a trusted member of your church. You can also find help with a faith-based mental health professional who can help you identify the root cause of your partner’s anxiety and suggest ways to take baby steps forward.
Every successful relationship is built on communication, respect, trust, and some compromise. Getting counsel from someone you both respect can help your partner overcome this anxiety and fear that seems to warn that commitment is not a great idea?
If possible, try attending a couples counseling session together. If you do love your significant other, these sessions can help to explain your fears. The therapist can suggest ways the two of you can grow closer.
Discuss the fears and find strength in trusting each other
If you are both serious about your current relationship, but afraid of the feelings and thoughts of anxiety that may be ruining the bond you share, consider having a one-on-one talk with your partner. Stepping forward in a relationship is scary and uncertain at times, but such frank conversations can help build trust and confidence.
It is important to note that anxiety can be overcome not with quarrels, accusations and suspicion. Those things only drive the affected person back into their shell and causes them to withdraw.