Please note – Sex is a big deal! Many lives and destinies have been ruined by it and many more who have aligned appropriately in a way that is pleasing to God have gone ahead to fulfill destiny.
If we undertake a careful study of the bible regarding the topic of sex, you will be surprised to learn some of what is in the Holy Book. The first thing to understand is that sex was created by God, and as it is with everything He created, it has a purpose and it is good. The devil never created anything, but he has repurposed a good thing in such a way that it is misused and abused.
Sex Outside Marriage is Sin!
I believe that sex is only reduced to a pleasure act when it is practiced outside marriage. At this point it can be termed as sin! One of the ten commandments is “Thou shall not commit adultery,” Exodus 20:14. However, the bible has many more verses about adultery and fornication. Hebrews 13: 4 reads “Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.” Within a marriage, partners are meant to be faithful to each other.
1 Corinthians 6: 18-20 takes it a notch higher by explaining that this sin is not just against God but also against oneself. “Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doesth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body. What? Know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God’s.”
Sex that pleases God.
The first purpose of sex is for procreation. Genesis 1: 28a “And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it:” when brought within the context of marriage, it becomes much more than a pleasure act and it is elevated to an act of service even the fulfillment of purpose.
Sex within marriage is an act that engages the tripartite makeup of man (body, soul and spirit) and is a worthy celebration of the coming together of the man that was present at the first instance of creation – male and female created He them Gen 1:27. This was before the separation by God – to take from that man a part to create woman as a companion Gen 2:21-22.
Marriage is a decision to serve the other, whether through sex or not. Sex however solidifies that decision through a spiritual bond. This might be responsible for Apostle Paul’s position in 1 Corinthians 7: 5 “Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.” This simply means that as a married person even before you perform sacred spiritual exercises like fasting, you need to take permission from your partner to abstain for a while.
The implication of this scripture is powerful, to the extent that sex is seen as a tool that can be used by Satan to derail your worship experience and you are advised as a married person to ensure you do not starve your partner of it! If marriage is a partnership, sex is the seal that endorses it.
In order words sex is deep! As Paul (one of the few bold enough to elucidate on the subject matter) puts it in 1 Cor 7:1-4 – “Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband. Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.”
Sexual drives are strong, but marriage is strong enough to contain them and provide for a balanced and fulfilling sexual life in a world of sexual disorder.